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Navigating noise and cognitive dissonance
For now, I have a life purpose/philosophy that I’m comfortable with. A blend of Kintaro from Golden Boy and Camus. But, to a lesser extent. A implementations of my strategy of learning and experiencing seem to be done on a higher degree than what I feel I’m capable of; or what I’m built for. The — read more
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adulthood quickie
The studious groove, and the resulting fulfillment/happiness, manifest itself through a long-term goal I had come up with some time during my freshman year despair. In the time in between then and now, my existence felt right. All that I was doing I could rationalize to be conducive to this long-term goal. That goal being — read more
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Ball and Paraboloid
Only a few years ago was I depressed. No energy, no motivation, suicidal ideation… the whole works. However, there was a sort of emotional clarity present. My feelings were raw and real. Insights into human nature and condition flowed through my mind. I saw (at least what felt like) philosophical truth. Superficiality, hollowness of norms, — read more
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Personal Revelation
I had a revelation about myself a few minutes ago. It’s pushing 4am and Im tired so this probably wont be very coherent Doing some introspection to bubbled up to me the reason why I was attracted to pure math and religion. Not the abrahamic religions or mahayana sect of buddhism, i’m talking about the — read more
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The Singularity Sounds Awesome
The feeling masturbating, problem-solving, reading, engaged in delightful conversation, and competition have in common is the silence of peripheral thoughts and the loss of time awareness. These effects come about from achieving a singular state of mind i.e. the mind is focused on one thing. Achieving a singular state of mind is vital to being — read more
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Deranged ramblings of a schizoid
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