I’ve been thinking a lot about Wills lately; this post is largely inspired by the Bronze Age Pervert. I don’t want to call it a soul, because the word has taken on a sort of humanized reincarnation qualities. I’m talking about a primal drive; kids or lambs begin banging heads not with the anticipation that horns will grow in, no, in a spiritual Darwinistic type way, if you will, this primal Will brings horns into existence. And so you see these primal Wills all around you; the beautiful who without fail put themselves on display, bask in their own beauty. That’s why selfless tranquil beauty (of the conventional sort ) cannot exist; a beautiful woman always thinks themselves first by construction of their Will. The pedantic who pronounce science as if it were a pastor’s sermon. These Wills of conventional beauty and pedantic knowledge I would actually group into a more foundational Will that is the one of social acceptance and desire for social prestige. They are the most vexing of them all; they will only ever attain the fake beauty of a nine-tailed fox, or the meddling intelligence of a pedantic nerd. Extremely rare are the Wills who desire true beauty, tranquility, or mastery of the mind solely for its own sake; the ones who just are. I think these exemplify some deeper truth within our universe. Human wills are more nuanced than this, but you can usually tell the ones whose wills are strongest in some respect. But what of the one who desires to be seen… yet is hideous? The one who wants to learn, solve, and discover… yet is dumb? The ponderous who cannot sit still? There can, and often is, a mismatch between the will and physical traits. Yes, intellect, height, beauty, dopamine circuitry… they’re all separate from you, the Will. The ones whose Wills are the strongest eventually will manifest in a being with will-physicality match. The rest of us who live in will-physicality dissonance, or even balance, I may see more… Certainly, there are only views that can be seen from the top. But, only an intimacy that can be felt from the ground. Megan Fox, Srinivasa Ramanujan, Olympians,… the greatest; they are all creatures of monstrous Will. It is absurd to think that the men with brilliant intellect decided to come up mathematics posthoc due to having a brilliant mind. Ramanujan’s visions were not divine revelations; he was simply a man possessing such a monstrous Will to think deeply of mathematics even in sleep. It is their monstrous Will to understand that has granted them such. So I like to stare, ponder, or admire in awe the kind of fire that almost senselessly reaches for more, more, more in some of these humans. I also think about a concept of juvenile vs developed Wills. Two Wills may be of the same strain, but one has had simply more desire than the other. For a simple (but reductive) example, consider two “nerds” e.g. same Will strain. One has 99th percentile IQ, the other has 80th percentile. Mannerisms, and most other exhibitable qualities except for intellect, they share. Without pitting the two in a puzzle competition, I reckon you would see, view, feel, treat them almost identically. They both will face the same identity crises, the same worries, the same stressors… everything. Only that in dilemmas where the 99th IQ percentile nerd will solve thanks to something like extra working memory capacity, the other will simply fail or be stuck in a mobius thinking loop. The next time you’re out, maybe on a college campus, take note of the “type” of people you see; these are Will strain groupings. Most of them are the insufferable type groveling for social prestige, but few you will find are nobly themselves. I want to end with my belief that there are definitely Wills superior to others. Some may be indistinguishable to the Will of yeast, others can carry something perhaps more revealing of our purpose here. I find comfort in pulls unbeknownst to the conscious that pull this way and that, some deeper ordinance that possesses us… Not only is the concept of free will stupid and inconceivable, it is a frightening idea.